13 Years Later

13 years ago our country was delivered a devastating blow at the hands of extreme militant cowards.

It is one of those events that burns into your mind and you can remember the exactly where you were and what you were doing when it happened. It was terrifying, stunning, and deeply depressing. For this reason I never care to relive that day in any form. I don't watch movies about what happened, including the conspiracy films. I don't watch the videos of the crashes. I don't relive it in the form of news or radio broadcasts from that day. The memory I have is all that I need. Also, frankly, I don't care where you were or what you were doing that day either. It doesn't matter. I don't need to feel what I felt that day over and over.

I don't need to feel it because the effects of that day are still rippling through our nation and every cultural nook and cranny of our society.

For a brief moment we were brought together in a wave of patriotism and a wonderful feeling as one nation, one community. But all of that quickly dissipated and we starting seeing the flags that once flew proudly from car windows being run over on the freeway. Patriotism went from being a sense of pride for our country to being an outlet for anger, intolerance, and hatred. That day became a sound bite or politicians to use for campaign gains. It became a banner for our backwood rejects to wave around and wear on t-shirts, without actually offering anything to truly better our country. We swiftly became polarized, No one can remember that day without spitting out some kind garbled mess laced with political points of view. You have to sit through conservative propaganda or liberal conspiracy anytime the subject is broached. It is a dishonor to all of those that needlessly lost their lives.

Now we live in fear and the events of 9/11/01 are the spring board for all kinds rhetoric that will label you a trader or blasphemer if you disagree with any agenda even ones having nothing to do with that day.

Since then our society has deeply dumbed itself down. We waste hours of our lives watching rich people live theirs through scripted nonsense we call reality TV. We made a backwoods hillbilly child a start so we could gawk are her like an animal and we follow intently what rich people all over the world are doing. As long as they are fucking and fighting, we stay glued to the TV. If I were to ask someone what the latest was in the world of the Kardashians, I would surely be in for a half hour run down of relationship and new product line updates. If I asked what was going in the war that everyone so adamantly loves to express opinions on, they would regurgitate whatever they heard last from their brief passing look at their news station of choice but that would be about it. We are only conveniently concerned.

Our political and religious agendas stand squarely in the way of any innovation or progress. Grid lock is the norm for our government. This is on any issue that doesn't have to do with rich people getting richer. I think all politicians agree that the rich stay rich. At least we have that. We will stick to the script until it all blows up in our face.

In the private sector people are claiming to build empires based on trends and market research as opposed to taking any risks with ingenuity or innovation. Take an old idea and put the swagger on it then sell it to the product hungry consumer zombies that are haunting the floors of every mall in America. Bombard the masses with needless objects that will keep them glued to their TVs and applauded by their equally brain dead friends.

Our entertainment industry is designed to keep us seated and sedated and stupid. About as deep as people want to look into music are songs about big asses, fucking, money, and the recovery from a broken relationship. Music that has inspired introspection is now just about being self centered. Only repetitive beats, manufactured specifically to what the industry knows you subconscious will respond to and lyrics that inspire you to do whatever can to improve your social standing or get over a lost lover. As long as we can get drunk and dance to it, we are fine. Just don't make us think.

People are obsessed with relationships but no one knows how to make one work. I almost expect when I meet a family for some of the kids to not look like both parents. What we fail to realize is all that nonsense from movies and music we eat is garbage and real life does not end on two people kissing atop a skyscraper or in the rain at sunset.

We complain constantly about our food but the majority of our population still gravitate to drive thrus and eat meals from paper bags. Then we claim to have no personal responsibility for this decision. We are corrupted and held captive by corporations. We are completely comfortable with the fact that someone else is making our decisions. We want to be free but we want the government to step in and make these corporations stop making our decisions...it doesn't make sense.

If we aren't blaming corporations, we are blaming the government and no one turns their finger toward themselves. No one really stands up to do anything about. We have become a nation of slacktivists where the lengths we will go is only as far as our social media pages will let us. We think that clicking and reposting is the answer. We hold this act up as a way to raise awareness. We are all more aware of things than ever before but no one is actually active. We will repost but we won't donate. We will dump cold water on our heads to keep from donating. We will tell of the struggles of the impoverished and less fortunate but we will not volunteer our precious TV time to actually helping.

We are in a constant state of fear and war, poverty, and sickness but yet we have people that principled stances on things like public breast feeding. We are secure from outside threats of terrorism but our own police force have turn into abusive bullies with little to no accountability. Our schools are run like prisons, and at home kids are treated like accessories or extensions of their parents style and we can't seem to understand how we are failing our youth. But still, lets sign a petition that says women can breastfeed in restaurants. Divert your attention from the bigger issues and lets work on our pettiness.

Where once we were united as one nation with a common enemy, now we are back to our old ways with racism and hatred. Racism is a game no one will ever win in this country. There are so many hateful biased people on one side and on the other it doesn't matter what you do or say you are racist. For me, being white, I have to watch what I say or do and tolerate the reversal in racism. We justify this through "Well you started it" policy. So I must pay for the sins of true ignorant bigots. Also, I am not allowed to have an opinion about things that directly affect me if it has to do with another race. No one can accept that we all have biases and that is not going to change. No one seems to want to accept that you are perceived by how you present yourself and that if you don't want to be thought of a certain way then you should probably not act the way you do. This is a across the board for every race, gender, or sexual orientation. And if you want people to take your cause seriously, then you need to take yourself seriously.

I think that basically what I am getting at here is that 9/11 for me was horrific and I had hopes that the country as a whole would work to become greater afterward, but we haven't. Somewhere along the way we sold our souls for security and toys. Memorials are sponsored by corporate pirates and we run out to buy their shit as fast as we can. We have developed an uncanny ability to live in denial about the true state of our union. We keep our heads buried so deep in bullshit that we have lost our ability to do actual great things. Now we just buy things and watch things, get fat, and hate people. Bullets and social media have become the new national pass times. We were once a nation of great men and women and now we are a bitter hole that celebrate pregnant teenagers and worship narcissism.

My brother and my father both went over seas to fight. I am not for a second discounting the sacrifices they made for what they believe in and our country. I am however saying that I wish they could have come home and known they fought for something a little better than what we have now.

So while you are reminiscing and taking this opportunity to let all your friends know just how much you love your country, think about how you could make it better. Think about how you could do something with your life that would reflect in a positive light what it is to be American. Think of someway you could be looked at with pride as opposed to an ever inflating fast food fueled mall fiend.

I love my country. I like the idea of what we have. I just feel the bright light is fading. What could you do to make your country better? What could you do to show that we have prevailed over this evil? What can we do?

God Bless America.

What do Amway and the Ancient Egyptians Have in Common? They Both Built Pyramids.

Something happens when you are approaching the cliff that is your 30^th birthday. You suddenly realize you might not get to be a rock star or the president. Your 20’s are spent questioning every decision you should make for your future and your 30’s are spent questioning every decision you made in your 20’s. My 20’s were full of great ideas that I forgot after 48 hour binge drinking marathons. Now that’s over I can focus…a little…

Clarity is not a luxury I have had for a longtime so luckily there some cool people along the way to give me some advice and motivation. One thing I know I can do is run my mouth and take part in lively conversation, and debate. Realizing with most of these debates that the tables seem to tilt my way by the end, I was drawn into sales. Sometimes I hate it and never want to talk to another person again in my life, and sometimes I love it. That’s sales for ya.

I sell a product right now that I love, believe in, and think is the future of the planet. I love to talk about it to people that want to listen and I like getting my customers set up. It feels good to get paid to do something you enjoy. It is rewarding to do something you believe in. It also helps that I can work from home sometimes and not have to get dressed until 10am or when I start feeling guilty for being lazy.

For now I am in a good spot. But, back to the turning 30 thing…

We all hit that point where we realize the pics posted by former crushes go from cleavage clad sexy poses to driver seat selfies hiding gained weight, pictures of food, and the worst….10,000 pictures of kids. Priorities shift, people start having “favorite shows” on weeknights, and generally begin to suck. As if this isn’t already disappointing enough, the next wave of disappointment comes in a salesy business tone that you have never heard spoken from that person. Yup, I am talking about the Multilevel Marketing, Networking Marketing, whatever you wanna call it Marketing pitches. Things didn’t pan out at college, you don’t like what your degree is in, your trade school degree isn’t helping like the commercial said it would, or you just didn’t get an education…I don’t know. But now you have found the most American of American ways to make money…I mean, it only makes sense! You are the only thing holding you back! You just need the desire and drive and you are chocked full of that man! 

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have reached out to a couple “advocates” or representatives participating in some of the programs. I have asked about product for a couple of things. Most times I couldn’t get through asking for something to give me some pep in the mornings before they would launch full on into a pitch about how I was perfect for selling this product and I should join their cult. As a sales professional, I have to give you some feedback, wait for me to finish talking before shoving your pitch down my throat. You don’t know my situation and you may be wasting your time or more importantly wasting mine. If you think about it, it is a pretty narcissistic way to live assuming everyone has 15 minutes to listen to you drone on about financial freedom and early retirement, whenever you decide to talk about it. Ease off the green tea extract buddy! Calm down.

Anyway, I get why you start listening to these pitches and why you invest your $500 to be the owner of your new home based business. I understand that the pictures on the brochures are exciting and that you may get a little boner or lady boner, whenever you are in one of those hotel ballroom conferences. It’s exciting stuff. I know because I was there.

When I was younger, I was madly in love with a beautiful girl and I wanted to marry her. At the time I believed she was probably the best I was going to do and needed to go ahead and lock this one down. Rookie mistake. So when her father asked what I was going to do to take care of his little girl, I said I was going to do what he did…Network Marketing. If this idiot asshole could do it, I certainly could too. Immediately his concern with our young age and my lack of a stable history in anything but playing in a band went out the window and he launched full throttle into getting me up to speed on how I would be retired by the time I was 30. He gave me the full run down on how things worked, there were conference calls, motel spectacles, and lots of books written by paid “third-parties” like Robert Kyosaki. That’s right, I had the Rich Dad / Poor Dad boxset and I was on my to making millions of dollars if I just believed! Then came Napoleon Hill, The Secret, Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey, and the list goes on and on and on. Whatever, he was off my back and all I had to get people to do was buy some vitamins or want to sell some vitamins. I mean I got pretty easily sold, how hard could it be? I was a something something home based business diamond triad douchey mcsales guy for USANA!

Now in retrospect as a real sales professional, I see the error of my ways. First, while sales does not require any formal training, it should. Sales is a profession like anything else and not everyone can do it. I can’t believe my way into being an MMA fighter or playing the NBA. I know there are the hopeless that believe you can will your way into anything but you’re wrong so don’t start. Sales is one of those things. You may have some natural ability, but you have to hone the craft, have some coaching, and work really hard to get comfortable, let alone be any good at it. Then on the flip side, there are people that are just not sales people and it is painfully uncomfortable to listen to them try and sell. We are all given certain abilities and to say that everyone is born with the ability to sell is probably coming from someone trying to sell you something. Bottom line, I wasn’t going to take my 500 pound ogre of a brother that drives a truck and owns a trailer park in East Texas and change him into top notch sales professional. There is not enough time or magic in Neverland for that to ever happen.

That is the other thing that comes with these programs. You have just signed on to harass, alienate, and possibly rip off your circle of influence. Remember when you were in elementary school and they sent you home with magazines or candy and you had to sell about 10,000 bars of chocolate so you could win the TV, so you went to all your family members and friends and so on…this is the same business model. The only difference is that you are now 30 and the shit ain’t cute anymore. Also, the kids that always won in those programs were kids that probably already had their own TV because their family was well off, so they would by the 10k in chocolate bars and magazines between like 3 family members. My family on the other hand was too poor to do that so they went back to the hard work philosophy and said I should knock on doors. The bitch of that was that we lived in the country and had like 3 neighbors that always seemed to have dogs that bite.  The same principal happens here. You may sell a little to your ne’er do well relatives, but your more accomplished relatives are more likely to enable this and buy in…as a courtesy because they still think you are cute.

Next, you find your down and out friends that have buckets of problems, can’t hold jobs, drink too much, and are not even healthy, and try to get them to sell your HEALTH supplements too. Well the thought of not having a boss has already hooked your maverick friend, and he likes that sweet magnet you put on your car about that says “Fire Your Boss Today!” He would do that, but he was just fired yesterday for urinating in the Coke machine. You stroke the ego, have them fish whatever your initial investment charge is from the piggy banks and empty Crown Royal bottles and they are off! Now you are seeing small commissions coming in and your color code or rare gem status is rising in the ranks of this company! At the next motel conference room banana pants conference you will get a new pin and lots of pats on the back!

This is sales. That is true. But without integrity.

Here is why…

You are selling people a product that has a 90% fail rate. I don’t care how many ass holes you have watched jump around a stage with one of those Britney Spears microphones attached to his head saying that he went from riding the bus to a Ferrari in 2 years. The bottom line is that real stats show that over all, in your industry, more that 90% of people fail.  If I walked into Best Buy for a new TV and they told me about a TV that would fulfill my wildest dreams but there was a 90% chance it wouldn’t work, I’d probably go with the good ole LG or Sony. If you can’t honestly and upfront look at someone and tell them there is a huge chance that the money they are investing is going to be wasted, you are not being honest. Anyway you swing it, it’s lying. You place all of the responsibility on that person to put in the work but you don’t create an accurate picture of reality or what that work is. You can say that you care because their success is your success, but when you are lying to multiple people, the buffer room is built in for some people to fall off.

You cannot take someone with no formal training or inclination and make them a millionaire over night or even in 2 years in the field of sales. It is insulting to even say that to those of us that actually make our living that way. If you want to become a millionaire overnight, get your teenage daughter pregnant, get on tv and act like an asshole. This is America and that is the formula.

There are many many things people have to work through before becoming sales people and you don’t let people know that…you are misleading them. I have been rejected from sales jobs before because I wasn't a strong enough sales person to join that organization. A popular saying around your industry is that “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.” Well then why the fuck are you telling everyone they can do it?

What you do isn’t real sales, it’s manipulation. BUT in your defense people are responsible for their own decisions and if they invest their money and lose it, hopefully they learn a lesson.

I have seen my share of strangers give moving speeches with scripted rhetoric and nonsense with the silly headset microphone. I have heard their stories and even read other peoples stories online. It was amazing because after all, everything you read online is true and a businesses wouldn't cook shit up just to make sales. I mean... come on...

I have been harassed, lectured, pep talked, and disowned by people in network marketing programs. I have been told I would be great and just needed to work harder and believe in myself, and I needed to want better things for myself and so on. Most of it is pretty insulting, but I consider the source of a desperate friend that got sucked into it and I let it go. Usually this happens within their first 6 months of involvement in said program. After that, I don’t really hear about it anymore…weird right? Maybe they had given up on me and moved on to more qualified "down-lines" and started making that residual magic money we hear so much about! Nope…usually those same people, when asked months later, either have nothing to say or talk around it. I have never seen someone I personally know make any real money doing it. If they say they did, they cannot prove it. And trust me, I ALWAYS ask. It’s my last word to a conversation that may have been had months ago where they left feeling like they owned me.

Now we are back at the success rate of your model that you will righteously sell without having even known the actual success rate for yourself. See when I sell my product, I have to discuss failure rates, real justified rates of return, and show actual numbers as proof to all of it. At the end of the day, I feel good knowing that I was up front and the person knew exactly what they were getting.

I know, I have beating you up pretty hard on the recruiting aspect of what you do and haven’t even mentioned the phenomenal, revolutionary, pioneering, lifesaving, money saving, incredible, products that you all sell. Well that’s because for the most part neither do you! The minute I ask about some supplements or whatever, you may give me a web link to follow but then you jump right into your recruiting pitch. So again, go back to your sales training and learn about process. Here are some examples of what I go through…

Me- “Man, I have the hardest time waking up in the morings.”

Salesperson- “You should try our all natural acai berry battery acid flavored penis oil powder.”

Me- “Oh that sounds interesting. What is it?

Salesperson- “Here is a link. You can order it from me or online with my code. You know you can get it cheaper if you sign on as an independent distributor. Do you have a minute to talk about an exciting opportunity that everyone is talking about?”

Or…

Me- “Man, losing weight is hard. I love cheeseburgers and pizza and eat like 6 year old.

SP-“ You should try our Mega Protein Breast Milk Extreme! Meal replacement powder and power bars.”

Me- No thanks, I like food as opposed to powder.

Sp- “ You don’t know what you are missing man. I know a guy that lost 100 pounds last week just doing a simple 20 day challenge and it changed it his life. It costs $400 but how much does being fat cost you in the long run?”

Me- “Well maybe…

SP-“ If I get you signed up as a Class 3 super diamond independent super distributor, in 6 months, you’ll get all this free and be making more money than you ever have. Do you have minute to talk….

Me- Runs away and jumps from window….

Most of the time the products are pretty good. I will give you that. Usana had supplements so good they would make you sick. Advocare, Herbalife, and so on, all have some decent stuff. I take supplements and if I could find a salesperson that wouldn't try to recruit me, I’d probably buy some stuff from them monthly. But maybe not either. Most of the time because it is a direct sale, it is extremely overpriced and again, there is no actual measurable proof to justify the extra expense incurred in buying your product over a less expensive brand that is easier to access. Showing me a study that your company paid for is not proof. That is marketing material. Know your shit.

Finally, for those of you that are pursuing one of these programs now, I really do wish the best of luck and I hope you can throw this back in my face along with your million dollar payday and tell me it works. If that happens, I’ll be the first to eat crow and publicly admit it. And the honest truth is that I don't wish failure on anyone. I still wouldn't sign up because I don’t have what it takes to be the kind of person you have to be to sell that stuff. For those of you thinking about joining, I urge you to reevaluate your life and find out if this is a desperate grab at a life raft. Also, do your research on this industry and the companies. Make sure what you are reading was not written or funded by the company and try to be objective. If you want to do it but aren't sure about sales, go get a part time job at a cold-call call center. They offer great training and it will let you know whether or not you have the chops for sales. If you can sell at one of those places for a short period of time, you will probably do OK. For those of you currently that have swallowed the pill, pun intended, please give me your best rebuttal to what I am saying and post it publicly. I would love to have this debate with you for people to see. Or avoid the debate and show proof of your success. Again, I said 90% failure and that does mean that there are  people out there doing great with this. Good for them. Keep on keeping on!

I am not trying to crush dreams or to be as you kids like to call it, a "hater". I am simply replying to the many many many advances from you that I have gotten. I feel it's fair that if you all are going to solicit me that I can reply back. At least I am doing on single forum and not invading your personal space.

To my friends that are involved. I love you just like I always have, I just don't want to talk about this. I want to talk about what we talked about when we became friends. Love you.

Is Homosexuality worse than Stupidity? God vs.God

I tried to avoid it but I have to do it. It has to be addressed.

Sometimes I wake up, eat my breakfast, brush my teeth, step out into the world with intentions of conquering the day. Carpe Fuckin Diem man. Then suddenly I feel like I am being surrounded by some army of subhuman imbreds and they are declaring war on anything reasonable. They take grenades to common sense only to be distracted by shiny colors and loud noises. This provides me a small window to retreat back to the safety of my home, sensibility, and quite possibly a good book.

Social media is like a museum for extreme feats of stupidity. It can actually be quite amazing. Most people fear a pending zombie apocalypse, well my friends, I believe it's already started. You can start your observation of the brain dead fiends on Facebook, twitter, and the sort. If you want a good up close look, I suggest the mall in any suburban area or head further out into the countryside where they roam free. It's a spectacle alright...a gross,  putrid, spectacle of the walking dead. Go see for yourself.

Here is a list of what I believe will be the main components in the nitwit atom bomb that will destroy America. Start digging your shelters and don't say I didn't warn you.

 I guess the glaring issue, eh, last week, was the whole Duck Dynasty, Phil Robertson, redneck outrage fiasco. First, the guy has every right to say what is on his mind. The constitution allows us that right now, and they I am sure allowing us to show how doltish we can be will always be overlooked. After all, we are a nation that will only quiet someone down when there is fear of someone losing money. I guess the main argument was that he shouldn't have been fired...well he was for a week. Then he came back. If you think he came back because A&E thought it was the right thing to do, or that your internet slacktivism had anything to do with it, you are an idiot. A&E knows that they would have lost money. They know that some of your hard earned Keystone money was going to them in the form of shirts, coozies, and other fad like items that you will most assuredly be hawking to someone else at a garage sale in 5 years. The only change you made was that someone knew they were about to lose more money by not having him on than by kicking him off. Plain and simple. You can go change your profile pictures back to what they were before.

The other argument for this guy is that he was standing up for what his religious beliefs...so lets talk about that for a minute.

He said he didn't understand what one man saw in another mans anus, likened the lifestyle to bestiality, and also made some incredibly racist comments about the Jim Crow Laws. For those of you that get your information from internet memes, I suggest looking up the actual interview. Have an adult help you if some of the words are too big.  Then came the legions of people saying, very tongue in cheek that they agree with him. Of course no one just came out and said they were against Gays, Gay Rights, or the lifestyle, because I am sure you couldn't remember or weren't sure if you had added any to your 1000 "friends" on Facebook. Although there were a few outlyers that were pretty vocal on their stances and backed it up with editorial Biblical references and little quips. So there it is...they are not defending the man, they are defending the God he believes in! They are coming to the aid of the supreme being that gave them life and all of their many fortunes!  So like a weapon they rip out the Holy text and start fire those words from Leviticus damning these people and all that support them. It was quite remarkable.

It made me wonder, all of these Biblical scholars here fighting all that is good, holy, and American, they must be following all of the other commandments, rules, and ancient statutes set by the Creator himself. I mean, it does say that a man can not lay with another man as he would a woman. So what about the rest of the antiquated laws and rules the Good Book teaches us? Shouldn't we be following those, blindly, out of context, and literally?

I mean there are a bunch and it can get difficult to keep up with. But, for all of you devout followers, this shouldn't be a problem. I will name a few, and since you are so devout, you will know where they are, I shouldn't have to give you the exact verse. Rest assured though, should you need it, this heathen is happen to give you an index.

Because if you are going to suppress a group of human beings, not treat them as equals, and damn them to eternal hell, you must be thinking for the for the greedy, drunkards, swindlers, and good old fashioned adulterers. I mean, we love a good adultery story...as long as it doesn't involve a man with another man.

Seriously, lets keep them from voting or sharing benefits because we are unhappy with their sexual decisions? Even when God calls out all these other folks in his book? What gives them the hall pass?

We still eat pork even though in Deuteronomy it says that we shouldn't. In fact, it lists out a bunch of foods that we aren't supposed to eat.

What about the whole, "Don't kill people" commandment? This great country of ours is great at it. Of course we do it so the terrorists won't keep us from the shopping malls...but we are among the best at slaughtering people. Is it ok as long as we say we are doing it for God?

Also, with divorce rates flying over 50% in this country, what are you so worried about? Chances are, it won't last...just like your failed marriage. Hold on though...isn't divorce a sin too? Wait now I am really getting confused...Gay marriage should be banned but divorce should be an industry? Hell people even celebrate divorces. I guess I am having a hard time understanding where your faith makes any sense.

I have set it before..."If you make divorce illegal, everyone would go ahead and give marriage a second thought.

But I can understand needing to get married since a pregnancy was involved....ooooh shit...wait...Sex before marriage? Isn't that...no it couldn't be, all the faithful redneck teen moms were all married before conception. I am sure of it! Or did you find someway to get God to sanctify your Keystone fueled romp in the bed of a pick up? If you can explain that one to me, I'd sure be grateful.

My favorite were the women that stood forth on mighty pedestals denouncing the lifestyle! I mean, maybe they thought if they made enough noise, people would forget about what the Bible says about women...If you know what it says...then you should probably Shut the fuck up...because that's exactly what it says you should do. And for those of you that haven't been discarded by you first husband and baby daddy, I really hope you are behaving and being submissive to your man...transgressors...You should have plenty of time to practice working at home as it says in Titus.

I guess you could throw back at me that I took some of that out of context...Kind of like you did with the homosexuality text. I guess you could always throw back that some of those rules are antiquated and don't have to be followed. But what makes Homosexuality any different? Who gives you fucking tards the right to judge anyone based on a book you don't even follow? By the code of Jehovah you are all going to hell. So if you don't like gay people now, you should try to get used to hearing a feminine male scream, because you will be spending eternity right next to him. I think the biggest sin here is how fucking stupid you all are.

You know back in the day they had Biblical justifications for slavery. Some racist groups still believe in them.
You used to be able to beat your wife.

But as a group, we slowly but surely grew out of that nonsense. This is nothing different. It just can't make sense to the feeble minded American that doesn't have enough going for them to look up to anyone any better than a bearded redneck asshole.

Also, before you come at me, or judge me, as you have probably done the whole time you read this, you have no idea what my relationship is with God. I can assure you have one and I am a grateful person for things that have been given to me, especially the gift of commonsense and the intelligence to know that rules from 2000 years ago, may not apply to todays world as literally as you think they should.

(For any of you atheist, I know this probably got your motor running, but keep it to yourself. You can be more annoying than a pissed off chihuahua and this isn't the time to hear your nonsense either.)

One rule I will say that should stand today is that you should be good to other people...maybe that will free up some of your time to clean up your own act.

Your Opinion: Is it Valid?

I have been thinking about this whole Duck Dynasty, Phil Robertson, and outraged Redneck America fiasco that has come and past. Some of it was disturbing and hard to swallow like somehow the apocalypse had already happened to our brains and the rest of existence just needed to catch up. It scared me. 

So I am drafting now what could be a law and possibly save us for this nonsense and hazardous stupidity. It may seem harsh, but don't fear, we will leave the TV on for you as not to interrupt the intravenous absurdity most people require to live. We won't take away your fix. You can continue to grow fat and drool in front of your television and spend your money in the free market accordingly. We are just trying to quarantine your mental dribble from those of us trying to get on with our lives in serious manner. Shiny and fluffy toys will be made available for you upon request. 

We are just going to make some adjustments to your freedom of speech and your ability to spout opinions on the rest of us. This is for your own protection and for the greater good of national security, publicity, and overall well being.

1. First if your life resembles some sort of cliche or early 90's Reba McEntire  video, you are no longer allowed an opinion. 

2. If you are a current fan or these musical disasters, you will also not be allowed an opinion on any public or social matter. 

      Nickleback

      Drake

      Aforementioned Reba

      Nicki Minaj

      Justin Beiber

      Miley Cyrus

      Lady Gaga

....these and the like will be reason for opinion termination. This is a living document and that list shall grow as more names come to me or are set loose on the people like rancid poultry causing disease. 

3. If have ever gotten religious perspective from TV or Film. 

4. If you have children and you made their name up or used one of these suffixes and attached your own prefix to create said name. This also applies to taking a traditional name and changing the spelling as to seem more hip and cool with the intention of adding personality to your child  before giving them a chance to develop their own.  You may lose more rights if it comes to light you thought this name was at all creative. 

     Suffix aiden- Examples Braiden, Kaiden, Paiden, and so on....

     Suffix iley or ylee, or any variation thereof - such Briley or Brylee, Kilie or Kylee

Again this is a living document and this list will grow.

5. Anyone that chooses to mix faith with opinion without first seeking the counsel of reason or actual facts. 

6. Pretty much any adult male that drives a small coupe with the intention of trying to make it a sports car. 

7. Any adult male that drives a small car that is marketed as a sports car but is clearly not real sports car.

8. Maybe any adult male driving a small car for any other reason besides budget or environmental impact.

9. Any woman that has been in an abusive relationship but has 10 decent guys in the friendzone. 

10. Anyone, man, woman or otherwise that has used rap/hip-hop lyrics to express how they feel on social media. 

      (Exceptions will be made for The Beastie Boys)

11. Anyone, man, woman, or otherwise that has used any song lyrics on a regular basis to describe feelings on social media. Rap and Hip-Hop were singled out due the extreme repugnance. 

12.  Anyone, man, woman or otherwise that finds any substance or entertainment value in shows or films about pregnant teenagers. Harsher punishments are being consider for this one...

This is a living document and shall grow as needed and as new idiocy arises that we feel we must be sheltered from. 

We protect our borders but we must protect ourselves from the spreading disease or ridiculousness that has a grip on our culture, like a fat baby with a McNugget...there is no hope.