The Fat People Dance to Better Self Images

We all know Facebook is the new bumper sticker. A place you passive agressively post cute pictures that express how you feel and what you believe. We are activists bringing down South African warlords, advocates for civil rights, political campaigners, all from the safety of our smart phone and on our lunch break. I will save most of those topics for another time. It's been awhile since I have posted something and I don't want to dive in the deep end just yet. I just want to get in waist high and let me fruity plums plums adjust to the water. I want to broach a subject a bit lighter...fat people. Wait...what? You know what I'm saying.

Anyway, facebook has also become a new safer place for the overweight to live and thrive and express through awkward memes of naked tubbys holding signs, that being fat is ok. Now first let me show some credentials. Talking about fat people is like my "N" word...Its safe if I say it. I have never been in shape and currently reside at a hefty 250lbs. I am 30 years old and should probably start working on that but...I don't. I blame no one...it's all me and I need no special consideration for my spare tire. I think fat jokes are funny but I don't spend a lot of time obsessing over it...obviously.

The thing that is driving me nuts, is that America is the fattest nation on the planet. Go to any mall or amusement park here in the Great States and you can witness herds of stampeding buffalo ass, mountains of cellulite, and thousands of greasy fingers stuffing thousands of bloated faces full of sweetened fried goods. You can almost smell the heart disease. Of course none of this is our fault. This is a country that thinks being overwieght isn't a choice but being gay is. It's all marketing and subliminal messages telling us to do this to ourselves. It's the goverments fault for allowing us to eat like swine instead of tasering us everytime we look at twinkie. We really have it rough.

  So now the cool thing to do since we are all stricken with something like this and can't control it, we get to make excuses for it. Now we compare pictures of Marilyn Monroe to Nicole Richie. Then we say real women look like Marilyn Monroe and women like Nicole Richie are sickly. In my opinion, Nicole Richie has looked pretty sickly, but I don't know if I am going to jump on the band wagon with the woman that overdosed on pills either. It's pretty funny that we have to show such a drastic comparison in women. Is that our only choices?

Another one of the pictures shows Ms. Tubbybutt holding a sign saying "If size 2 is beautiful, then size 22 must be glorious!" Haha, no bish. That's incorrect. This is the kind of girl that meets her husband while participating in a jailhouse pen pal program.

  Here's how I look at it. Most of us are drawn to and more attracted to the smaller sizes because lets face it...they are hot. We aren't programmed to think that, they just are. One of the hottest things about them is that we know we'll never have to wait on them to complete four rounds around the Golden Corral buffet. Also, it's just attractive to see a person eating right and working out and taking a little pride in themselves. I think if anything, the healthy people out there are the ones being over looked.

 God forbid we look at reasonable examples of health and beauty to make these nonsense comparisons. It's hilarious. Look, if you're going to be a lazy tub-o-goo, don't try to embrace it by comparing yourself to other unhealthy people. Take a look at some positive examples and make the comparison. If at that point you still feel "fabulous" then rock on Tundra! Chances are without looking at other unhealthy people on the exact opposite side of the spectrum, you can't justify it. So, shut up.